A return to Finland – Charon concert, September 2025

They say that, as you grow older, you just return to the things that brought you joy in your younger years. If there’s anything that really marked me when I was younger, it’s gothic music. Not just music, but the entire subculture, way of life… And Finland. The land of enchanted winters and gothic metal. And not just what brought you joy, I must add, but what constitutes your very being. So, when one of my favourite bands ever announced their reunion tour in their homeland, there was nothing else for me to do than to return, 20 years after my first visit, and my first Charon concert.

The tickets for the show in Helsinki were sold out within a few minutes. So, I quickly rerouted my original plan and bought a ticket for Jyväskylä, figuring an extra 3-hour trip by train is doable within the temporal confines of my weekend trip. After a fantastic Weekend of Hell in Germany, a mere two weeks later I had found myself roaming the streets of Helsinki. Just like all those years ago, I embarked on a journey of self-reflection as well as self-revelation, unfolding in perhaps the most beautiful country in the world next to my own.

Like a pilgrim entering the temple of his final rest, I let Jyväskylä envelop me with the most wonderful feelings of belonging. I stood at the edge of the dark, hypnotic waters of Jyväsjärvi lake, as melodic guitar riffs played like a presque vu in my mind, inviting what was to come that evening. And what came was perhaps the best show I’ve seen by Charon, a warm welcome back between melodic poets and their audience in a spell of devotion. The utter gothic poetry of JP’s lyrics always brought me back to their albums throughout the past two decades, unearthing rare, hitherto hidden meaning in its bewitching beauty. To feel his tight embrace, to laugh together at our old photo and to reminisce and offer my deep and heartfelt gratitude to all of them for this gem of a night… I left the place in a smiling daze, singing in the middle of a street, the moon carefully shining over my every step, the gothic sky above like another embrace, no other sky like it.

The third day, and already the last one, my heart whispered. Why did I wait so many years to return here? There were obstacles, sure, but I wonder… Was it also an attempt at forgetting what Finland truly means for my existence? Oblivion lies beyond that last look, twenty years apart… I felt as if my legs were rushing me towards the train station, as if in a dream… Or maybe I couldn’t bear the official goodbye, so I hurried inside to not allow myself one last look at Helsinki. My mind was in a dark chamber, nothing in it except a suspended heart in light pink… Crumbling down to the melody of „Unbreak, Unchain“… „Could this be what it seems? Painted in your dreams…“ Like tiny pieces of bread, frosty and soft, the weight of my world in each crumble… Yet I was content to have my heart crumble like that, because at least one part of it would remain here… Unbreak, unchain. Its melody trailing me (or I trailing it)… And then the doors were closed behind me, no one to hold them for as the kind lady before did for me. Should I go back and take a deep breath of that autumnal air? Say my goodbye officially? It was as if I would willingly submit myself to the pain of departure. I tried telling myself „This is not a goodbye. Therefore, no need to go back and gaze upon Helsinki for the last time, because this time, you will return and it will not take you another 20 years to do it.“ So I turned away reluctantly, my innards crumbling with a sorrowful smile.

Is this truly the closest I could get to calling a country home? Here I spent the weekend greeting everyone back in Finnish because they all assumed I was a native, what with my attire and overall look. Perhaps because “outsiders” are the norm here? Black is a normal colour, being a goth even more. Perhaps I would never truly belong anywhere, but this is the closest I could get to it – a comfortable easiness of being? Why does it call me, and I yearn for it? Am I sentenced to always yearn and mourn, perpetually walking around a mausoleum, the wind carrying leaves like petals of a present around me… Perpetual craving for this melancholic winter sky, the cold streets, familiar places of rapture… „Leave no remorse to call your name“, and yet I left everything, even the things I couldn’t do without… Parted from these lands a fraction of myself.

Charon, as if sensing this could not be such a rushed departure again, announced a big arena concert this summer. Helsinki, I will return to you.

An Expat in France… Chapter 3: Absence Makes The Heart…

We’re in the Holy Month of Ramadan, and what better time is there to express gratitude for what you have? Therefore, I am finally going to write the promised chapter about things that make me happy in France!
Five months in, and this is what makes my every day brighter:

1) No stray dogs and cats on the street, struggling, suffering, dying – For my entire life, my family and I have rescued poor animals from the street. Sometimes we managed to save them from hurt, cold, heat, cruel people, illnesses and hunger, but sometimes it was all just too much and a wonderful being had to die just because laws and common ethics were not enforced and followed.That’s why I feel relief when walking the streets of Lyon and every other city in France. The neighborhood where we live is peaceful and pets live their life in the comfort of their humans’ home. Almost every house has a cat door, and the nearby park is filled with dogs being walked on sunny afternoons of this spring. Just last year, France adopted tougher laws that target animal cruelty and ban wild animal entertainment. Bosnia and Herzegovina has yet to strive to finally fulfill the provisions of the existing Animal Protection and Welfare Law that was passed in 2009. Anything less than that and we’re still stuck in the 15th century, inflicting cruelty and suffering onto beings that have the same right to this planet as we do (even more, actually, because they don’t destroy nature). Take note, you in charge!


2) Vegan food in abundance – Connected with the topic of animal rights, another exhilarating thing is the total explosion in yummy vegan products across the French aisles. It’s still not on the level of, say, Germany, but literally every time we go to a certain supermarket, there’s another new food to try. So far my faves are soy chunks from Garden Gourmet and pretty much every type of cheese we found so far, but especially the ones from Les Nouveaux Affineurs. Go, France!

3) Concerts in the actual city I live in (!) – For the past 25 years, whenever I wanted to see some of my favourite bands and musicians, I would have to travel for hours minimum (not to mention going to Finland to see The 69 Eyes!). Now I just need to see if the band is playing in Lyon, and in most cases, it’s true – such as The Rolling Stones on their upcoming STONES SIXTY tour. This will be a very exciting experience and our first Stones concert together! Before that, we have Simple Minds – and all it takes is a metro ride to the venue.

4) Overall art & culture scene – A tattoo convention here, a cinema retrospective of Francis Ford Coppola there – not only are concerts a dime a dozen here, but you also get plenty of cultural variety, especially during summer. That’s when Lyon transforms into a veritable treasure trove of aesthetic cultural experiences to everyone’s taste, and you only have to choose what to attend. Since this is the City of Film, Cinémas Lumière are here, and they regularly offer special screenings and retrospectives. Unfortunately, we missed the Night of Horror (with It Follows!), because we were spending that weekend in Annecy, but that’s a good reason to miss it, I think!


5) Sharing my husband’s language, culture, people – Never have I thought that I would fall in love with a Frenchman and start learning his language, but you know that saying about mysterious ways! I will soon attend an intense language course to improve my French, and since this is not my first foray into Romance languages, I intend to continue with Spanish and Italian. French culture certainly has an inspiring and formidable history, and many items in its iconography are also parts of what my eyes are fond of. My husband’s friends have all welcomed me warmly, and I found that I really like to discover France’s beautiful cities, their architecture, decor… I am thoroughly enjoying it all!

6) Growing fonder of my homeland – Bosnia and Herzegovina will always be my land. The soil I grew up from, where the sun casts its most familiar and beautiful rays. There is no other feeling quite like walking through my town on a bright, sunny day, checking to see if there are new Dylan Dog episodes in the comics section of a newsstand. But when you’re only there, life gets dour. It’s not easy living in Bosnia because of all the opstructions to our thousand-year long existence, which have continued well after the most recent aggression and genocide. War is being led in peace. That takes up much of one’s energy and motivation to contribute to one’s country. For some time before my departure, I have felt like I gave all I could give to the cultural and professional life in B&H. However, now being part of the Bosnian-Herzegovinian diaspora, I feel an envigorated urge to help in any way that I can, carrying the Bosnian voice to France and making it loud and clear. I already made some contacts (more on that soon) and I love it!

7) Being relatively close to Bosnia and Herzegovina – France is not as close to us as, for example, Slovenia or Austria, but there are one thousand kilometers between my hometown and Lyon, and we can cross it in 13-14 hours. Taking an airplane is even faster, and in a space of less than half a day, I am back to my home No. 1. That knowledge alone is enough to make me fell spiritually close to my (two-legged and four-legged) loved ones, and whenever I get a chance, I can always hop on to a trusty Air France flight and see them again. Pretty good if you ask me!

8) Finally being with my husband – Those of you more familiar with our story know how long we were apart during the heyday of the pandemic. As if the regular distance wasn’t enough! So, my husband and our life together are the ultimate positive aspect of my life in France.

So, these are my top 8 things I love about France. I hope there will be much more soon, but I am very grateful for my happiness here. Now it’s time to think of a great vegan iftar for tonight! To all of you, have a blessed Ramadan or other holidays you might celebrate these days!

Yesterday…

the 23rd anniversary of the U2 show in Sarajevo in 1997. Here’s what I wrote eight years ago for Venia-Mag to commemorate that momentous occasion:

U2 IN BOSNIA – „VIVA SARAJEVO“ – 15 YEARS LATER

Has it really been 15 years since that monumental event, a show, no less, that U2 performed for us on Koševo stadium in Sarajevo, literally minutes after the war ended? Why, yes, yes it has. Full fifteen years. I get shivers down my spine whenever I remember that night. It’s not even the reason that kept me away from writing about this often, it’s the intensity of feelings that overwhelm and threaten to burst through the walls we’ve all built to get through the war, years later – but I owe it to my country to write about this incredible night again and again, and I owe it to U2 and all their fans here to show them just how much it meant – this one, single display of humanity, of music. So, here I go, and don’t hold it against me if I get lost in thoughts, haunted by the slow melody of „Miss Sarajevo“.
I was 14 back then, just fresh out of elementary school and weeks into gymnasium, unaware of how high school and life was supposed to look like, because nothing looked normal then. War-town country, war-torn childhood, people who used to walk before, now on their crutches, others dead, pavements chopped up by grenades, empty homes looking like Swiss cheese from all the holes in them, everything as in a nightmare – slowly emerging from one that lasted for four years. One of the few nice moments I treasure from that time is that of an autumn morning on the town square, decorated with a simple poster announcing the U2 concert in Sarajevo, on September 23rd, 1997. This image is so vivid in my mind – simple yellow letters on a black background, glued on a piece of carton. Announcing what was to be one of the most significant music experiences in the history of Bosnia and Herzegovina, U2, the world.
Have I also mentioned that U2 was my favourite band back then? That was love that went way back (1989), but that’s a different story. For now, it will suffice to say that I was among the first ones to buy the ticket in our post office (where else? nothing else worked), and couldn’t wait for the day to come. I remember traveling on a bus full of my school mates, professors, all excited and cheerful, whispering when we were crossing the dreaded part of the territory still occupied by Serbian chetniks, the whole bus in total darkness, because we were less visible for possible snipers. No one didn’t even think about this danger, really, because everyone just couldn’t wait to get to Sarajevo. I remember us arriving near the Town Hall (Vijećnica) – before the place where millions of books found their home, now a burnt shell of its former self, standing sadly over the river Miljacka. I remember us walking to the Koševo stadium, thousands of still fresh graves following us silently on the left side, because people didn’t have place anymore to bury their loved ones.
When we arrived at the venue, I separated from the others in my group, because I was the only one with the field ticket, while others had the stands – but that didn’t cause my concern, since the only place for me was right in front of the PopMart stage. I was 14, this was my first show ever, and of my favourite band, I was free and felt that live concert thrill my peers around the world took for granted – I’d go to the moon if need be! I even bought my first band T-shirt right then – a nice, although 5 sizes too big PopMart classic – a merchandise item I still have with me today. I even vaguely remember some of the „concert-buddies“ I met that night, ordinary young people who were around me – especially a very nice guy who let me copy his stamp to get to the „fanpit“ (mind you, at first I didn’t even know why they secluded an area right next to the stage – the whole concept of that was new to me, but sure as hell, I was in there).
And then – the show. Fifteen years have passed from that night, and I can still remember how the stage looked like – which doesn’t say much about my memory, since it was truly unforgettable, from the lemon to the toothpick and the giant LCD display. But more than that, I remember the feeling of that show. Whoever says music cannot change the world hasn’t been there in Sarajevo, when everything seemed to finally be great, when we finally rejoiced the loud noise of guitars, instead of bombs, when we saw one of the best bands in the world dedicate a night solely to us. The fans – all 45,000 of us – got more than just great songs played live, we got a night like any other fan in Italy, USA, England, Germany or elsewhere enjoyed, but even more than that – man, we finally got the feeling of BEING ALRIGHT. Of peace. Of safety. Of joy. Of excitement. On top of that, U2 spiced up the show with so many memorable performances and guests (Brian Eno on „Miss Sarajevo“, for example), that it was all a big bundle of vivid moments almost impossible to take all in in one night. Did you know that Bono first coined the slogan for 360° tour right there, when he shouted „Viva Sarajevo“! Fuck the past, kiss the future!“? We sang for Bono when he lost his voice and couldn’t sing anymore, we greeted loudly the new tracks, even though we didn’t know them well, we laughed, we jumped, we sang. From „MoFo“ to „One“. And when Bono came right in front of me to sing „Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me“ (you guess right – my fave track back then), I couldn’t wish for anything else. I was happy beyond words and forever infected by that concert-goer bug.
When the show ended, did these feelings also end for us? Did we kiss the future, but not strongly enough? I am tempted to say yes. Fifteen years later, we’re still in a torn country, only this time politically – and the world still doesn’t seem to care less about us. Poverty is abundant, holes still gape from the faces of ruined homes, people were in an EU-prison less than two years ago, when they were not able to travel anywhere without a visa on their blue passports. No one else visited Bosnia after the war, except some DJs and washed-up rockers. Music (good one, that is), is scarce, and that feeling of happiness it’s supposed to provoke is even scarcer. Even the media kept dwelling around the negative things, since there were so many, I guess. On one September 23rd, several years after the concert (was it 2? 5? I can’t recall), I was watching the primetime news, fully expecting to see a piece on this show, instead being utterly disappointed – they forgot about it! Or, more likely, they were oblivious of the importance of this show! Whatever it was, it was also one of the reasons why I went on to study journalism and create something significant, aware of my surroundings, but even more aware of the impact of art on the world.
However, whenever I’m tempted to go down that nihilistic road, I am reminded of everything good that happened since 1997. This night was not only a highlight for Bosnia – it was a highlight for U2 as well. Larry Mullen, Jr. said: “[t]here’s no doubt that that is an experience I will never forget for the rest of my life. And if I had to spend 20 years in the band just to play that show, […] I think it would have been worthwhile.“ Bono and the rest of the gang were also emotional about the night, often mentioning it in their interviews. U2, especially Bono, went on to visit Bosnia after the concert, and that spiritual connection between us is alive even today, among us also present at the two unforgettable nights in Zagreb in 2009, holding signs with „Sarajevo“ and „BiH“ on it (for more on that, check our my review of the two shows). Even some media remembered the event and honoured its 15th anniversary, such as Radio Sarajevo and various net portals. Sarajevo Film Festival is one of the bright lights emanating from this country to the world, we’re not on the black list anymore, able to travel across European countries, tourism and everything else is slowly back on track. All that and more only with the help of people like Bill Carter (a humanitarian worker who made U2 aware of the suffering here, back in 1993), U2 themselves and others willing to help us get back on that road everyone else is traveling. Let it be known – not a single politician today has done more even after four years of „service“ (better say, disservice) for the Bosnian people than U2 have done in that one night – few hours, really. This is the ultimate truth, and one that needs to be told in the future too. Four simple guys who brought peace with one voice, two guitars and a drum.
Now, fifteen years later, we all still carry our war scars, some outside, some inside, but „…only love can heal such a scar…“ Love and music. Thank you once more, Bono, Larry, Adam and Edge, for this unforgettable night. You said it was a gift from us to you, but it was also vice versa. We will never forget our U2 PoPMart gift on September 23rd, 1997.
To all the readers, please, take a moment, watch these videos and remember Sarajevo, remember Foča, remember Srebrenica, remember Bosnia – remember Vukovar, Zagreb, Dubrovnik, remember Croatia. Never forget. Kiss the future!
By: Ilhana Škrgić
(videos and the article appearing on www.Venia-Mag.net)